Dry your tears ..with love..

It has been 5years...since SzeYang left..time really flies..still remembered the days whereby i cried every now and then for him..thinking why did he left...thinking whats left of me..

Now? I cant cry anymore..hardly feel the pain or guilt in me anymore..finally this day has come but guilt are eating me..y din i feel sad? y din i cry? Whats wrong with me?

I bet danny was right..i shouldnt have done those things that i did..no one was for real..no one..each and everyone left for good..i tink its time to rethink and re-evaluate ..

I can never see tomorrow

I was never told about the sorrow

How can you mend..this broken heart..

I cant believe this same week last month i was still crying over it..now i just shed a tear or two when i listen to sad songs..that reminded me of that very incident..

Good nite everyone...

SWIMMING SWIMMING!!

Yahoo!! Finally its another weekend already..yea the weekend is over and the unbearable weekdays are coming...but I'll start swimming this coming Sunday!!

Speaking of which...i got this funny story to share..well..I know that im skinny..but i cant believe the fact that i cant fit in into any of the Triumph or Arena swimsuits..two piece is either too loose on the waist for me (blame it on my skinny waist) or one piece that is too short for me ( im 5ft 7' ) Gosh!! The promoter said i can still try on the bikini ones..I dun really find bikini suitable to learn swimming though... Finally..i got this XS sized 2-piece swimsuits that fits me perfectly.. :D floral pink..niceeee!!!

Got my swimmin cap ready..im ready to swim away!!

Just had my liquer drink...blackcurrant flavoured..cant really sleep here..woke up too late today..sigh..sweatin all over here..darn hot! Probably due to the steamboat i had just now for dinner...hmmm

Oh yea..suddenly after some thinking, i realised something..im nt tat much of a feminine person..i cursed..i drink ( but i dun smoke..NEVER!) i talk loud (at times...sometimes) Im nv those soft-spoken gal..i tink i gave some ppl wrong perception abt me..they thought im really a sweet soft-spoken never made a mistake kinda gal.. I AM NOT..pls..

But at least im being myself..but i noticed this..im not being myself to this tilam guy..i tink i act too much of a nice person to tis fella..but im being myself certainly to this PC guy..hahahah..tats y this PC said that he wont like me as im not feminine enuf..hahahha...

How could an angel break my heart

Maybe danny thinks that im an angel..he never realised that this angel is a fallen angel from heaven..But i felt that ive changed alot recently..beginning to spend alot on food...begin to buy things that comes into my mind...spending slightly more on clothings..or am i just being sensitive? I comforted myself by saying that im getting older..cant be still relying on some old clothings..i need to grow up..im a woman now and need to dress like one...right?

Yes!!RENTAS DR OVER!!

Sorry abt that remark..just cant believe this hard day is over..what a long day..first of all we took the wrong road leading to the wrong place..hence making us damn late for the system testing ..later on the smart card reader is not working..wathehell..unbelievable..

Finally its over by 6.48pm..phew!! managed to go and have BKT Klang for the 2nd time in tis week with brad pitt:D

Ok not many will understand what im typing here..but what the hell...nt many noe abt tis webpage oso wat:P

funny msgs i received today..some from PJ...some even from MILAN...really:D one made me sad..the other made me laughed...haha..i tot i will be sad...devastated..bt i laughed:P so funny..u had a drink with MILAN and had a good chat...so? Will i wish im the Vatican? err...NO:P but i would really luv to go to MILAN once in my lifetime..really:)

Another thing...i did sth really unexpected by everyone today..i bought a bouquet of flowers for my coll's bday..she's gonna be mom soon in a month's time..she must be shocked her big round tummy managed to get her some admirers:P Im glad i did tat..she's so so darn happy...at least she told me tat:)

I got this excerpt from this webpage http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Investing/HomeMortgageSavings/haircut.aspx#pageTopAnchor

"A lot of people change their hair when big things happen in their lives, like when they're going through a divorce or just got married," he says. "It's an outside thing, but it's a reflection of what's going on inside of us."

Quite true huh? I did my hair cut coz sth major happened..but it doesnt matter anymore..im loving my hair nw:)


I'm gonna buy some luvly sexy bikini tmr ( well, a well-covered two piece is still considered as bikini rite?:D) finally gonna learn up swimming..yahoooooooo!!!!!!!!!

OK..times up to shut down myself from blogging further...take k everyone..tata..

Heya...I was abt to go to sleep..its not a really tiring day..but my dark circles are already betraying me ;)



Anyway..i re-watched again the old chinese MV sent by my friend..its a sad mv..with a sad song playing at the background..the story is sth like...the guy cant forget abt the gal who left him for another guy..kept calling her to know hw she;s doing..finally he finds it too suffering to live without her..so decided to kill himself..its so so sad..i cried like no tmr when i saw it for the first time..but the re-watch today made me shed a tear too...reminds me of my friend..someone ive lost forever...someone who will never reply my sms/email/msg/nothing..



try this link if you're interested..let me remind u its in chinese..

http://www.oicq88.com/999/love3.htm



take k and dont be like the guy in this MV :(

Hello everyone!! fuyoh!

Im finally back on earth again..stepping my feet back on the cold hard ground once again..its funny but ive been some sorta out of track recently..so so out of track but finally awaken by some rude reality..

You know, i just cant believe it..ppl do change so so fast...i think i was thinking too much..way too much than i should ever do..im such a moron..such a moron for thinking that its for real..haha..I smiled widely to myself when i knew it was all a bad nightmare..i cant believe it ..hmm

I guess i think of myself a little too highly..overestimated my own looks..or even personality..thinking that it will have some effect on ppl but im so so wrong..im just another gal-next-door..another passerby on the road..the one that you just walked past while u were busy window-shopping..the one sitting next to your table while u reading this at coffeebean using their free wi-fi..im just..a nobody..:D

Im glad that i dint feel too sad abt it..it means i dint get myself too involved..its good..but im sad coz i lost someone's trust..i tot it wasnt tat bad..but seeing this happening so soon..i began to realise hw moronic i was to do that and lost some very important ppl in my life's trust..i hate to even think abt it..why am i such a dumass??

I kept screaming inside asking for help...but i noe i dun need one..

To those ppl that ive hurt during the rollercoaster period..im sorry..i felt that ive betrayed many..and ive let down dozens.. dont worry abt me..im getting my life back...:) finally..

U noe..i wont mind telling this..part of me wanting ( and really did) cut my super long (and ugly) hair was due to some silly reasons..haha..besides trying to combat some hairloss..i tink i wanted to get rid of my old self..i felt so down when i lost that particular trust..so i decided to cut my hair..to start anew..to live a new life after that loss..sounded funny? its nt to me..

By the way..lemme tell u guys some good news..im learning up swimming next month!! Yes!!Finally..after some useless life ive been living thru..finally i have something to do in the weekend that actually makes me healthier..:D and at the moment im taking up yoga too..hopefully it will really make me feel better abt myself in a good way...Currently im looking for a good swimsuit..will not try to get anything too sexy..Yea btw..my mom did ask if i wanted to join ms astro since im taking up yoga and swimming all of a sudden ..me??ms astro?? Next year i'll be meeting the max age of requirement already..haha..too late:P

Anyway lets really hope that swimming and yoga will really get me into shape....ive been suffering frm flabby tummy for far too long ..and skinny hand and legs..hope things will get better..and pls dun make me get too dark frm swimming :( my fair skin is definitely my asset:(((
i tink i need alot sunscreen..ALOT!

Im thankful to Geral, Along and danny..i tink they made me realised alot things..thanks geral for being there for me..im glad that i went thru my darkest time with you..along..ur my good brother..gave me alot good and bad excuses to make myself feel better..and danny..enough said..period.

And dexiang!! How could i forget you...Thanks for the Genki Sushi treat..i enjoyed our talk alot..we should meet up more often..;)

Pohchuen...ur the good bro in my office...Im so glad that our i-dun-like-you-and-you-dont-like-me relationship got on so well..hahaha..i like u..really!! as a pet brother:P btw..u are goodlooking..just that i realised it a little too late..after some frens told me tat..im sorry:P

Goodbye my old self..and welcome..to my new life:)

Kissing you...my fave song at the moment by Desree..i always thought the title was Missing you..its the theme song for Romeo n Juliet ..anyone watched it before?? Err..even i havent really watch it..just sort of seen abit of it..the Shakespeare language gets abit unbearable to me..

I bet im getting some sorta addicted to going out on Thurs and Fri nite..i cant believe it...staying at home on these two particular days really make me feel so itchy..wats wron g with me???

Well, perhaps its a good thing..staying at home too often makes me sick..makes me feel unwanted..but the downside of it..it makes me spend...alot..sigh..well i dint have to pay for the last two outings last weekend ..( my excoursemate n coll paid) but in the long run..i will dry up my dam of monies in UOB very soon...

And im beginning to get addicted to alcohol very much!! shit..no good no good..Im drinkin at least twice a week...

Im feeling very thankful that i do have some good brothers n sisters to take k of me..you know...i tend to be reckless and silly at times..and without them i feel aimless...thanks to along..Ester n Meihan aka mama..and danny....

Im sad that ive lost someone's trust ..but i keep telling myself its just a phase that you must go thru in life..I know that things like this bound to happen sooner or later..its not gonna stay this way forever ..I know and i understand..just tat i cant help but feelin sad at moments..but im alrite..im seriously ok..

Ppl around me must be worried with my blogs posting recently..im sorry..its just some crazy spontaneous thoughts frm me ...thats wat u call a blog..online version of " Dear Diary"...i hate to write diary..coz its too personal..no one;s gonna know what you're thinking if you keep it in your old lil diary...TYPE IT OUT!!SCREAM IT OUT!!

Be just like me...crazy..;)

Heya!!!
Its friday nite again and here i am typing out some blog before i drop of on my bed...

Just went out with my best gal-fren...we wanted to yamcha today just to catch up and decided to get hippy by going further abit...we went to KLCC !! Yea yea its nothing great but for us the guai-guai (obedient) gals to go out on friday nite to somewhere further than our neighbourhood its kinda adventurous already! :P

My gal, Geral suggested we go to Shrooms and Starz Restaurant and eat some sushi there..so off we head to klcc at 9.30pm and reach there approx 10pm..seemed late but the nite is still young for a Friday;)

We ordered half a dozen of oyster, a box of sushi and some sandwiches and feel so full after finishing up the food!!Wow...the oyster tasted so so good and the white tuna sashimi was simply amazing...yummy...

We also ordered two drinks ( LIQUER) this Twin Tower2 and Tears of Love...frankly both of them tasted alike...same kind of horridness :D it wasnt that good at all..i still prefer Kampai..or red wine..

We didnt get drunk at all...we were rather busy gossiping abt the ppl we know..but i suppose i listen more than i talk...well, there arent much stuff in my life recently.. i mean there hasnt been any interesting stuff in my life worth talkin abt at Starz...so there you go;)

It was a nice outing that both of us never thought we will have at any rate..hippy yet safe..hhehehe..yea yea we dont do clubbing..and we dont see any prob wit that..

so sleepy rite now..dont even noe whether im typing this correctly o not..okla..tata everyone,,cannot tahan alr:P